Zexion: the Bored Schemer, Part 1: The Last Book
by Darkrai A. Lunar
Summary: Zexion has only one book left after returning to Castle Oblivion, you may remember it from your childhood...


**Zexion, The Bored Schemer**

**By: Lunar Darkrai**

Kingdom Hearts Characters © Square Enix

Disney characters © Disney

"The last book in my library…" I said with a sigh.

I am Zexion, the Cloaked Schemer, Number VI in Organization XIII. Well, It's not really XIII anymore, because after fighting against Sora, Xemnas was obliterated somehow, unlike the rest of us; the keyblade forced him into oblivion. Somehow, Roxas is still with us as well. I'm not sure how… since he was reunited with Sora, his heart. The same happened to Namine. Her talents are no longer used to addle minds and memories. She has morphed her powers into a form of telekinesis and illusion…

The other rouges of the organization, along with the ones who stayed with Xemnas, came back only days after Xemnas' destruction, due to a strange aftereffect of being killed by the keyblade: It led us to our hearts. I don't know why it was different for Xemnas, but I think it had something to do with his heart being as evil as his nobody.

It was a strange phenomena, being reincarnated. It felt like I was at the edge of all existence, on the edge of reality, at the edge of true death. The darkness was imposing, in other words: frightening. It was darker than the darkest night in all the worlds! I was about to fall in…

When it felt like a hand had slapped me away from that ledge. Suddenly, there was a gray instead of the ultimate darkness, and a huge door, left slightly ajar… I went to the crack just as a heart flew out and hit me in the chest and buried itself inside. The emotions hit me, and then all went blank until Demyx shook me awake. Our apparent emotions as nobodies were the same as those with our hearts, just intensified. We also retained our weapons and dark powers. I guess Demyx was right to say we still had a portion of our heart… though I'd never admit it. The day after that, we returned to Castle Oblivion.

Unfortunately, it has been a year since we came back to the (nearly) decimated World That Never Was. The battle between Xemnas and Sora only gave Saix a bigger skylight to stare at the moon, and he quickly changed it into a large observatory in one of his fits of insanity. I think his mind was addled a bit by regaining his heart. The rest of the castle, including my library, was spared. I think it was the only time I ever smiled.

In the absence of Superior, we decided for a democracy. Unfortunately, we seemed to be useless without a true driving force (a.k.a. getting our hearts). So it was basically just a huge (possibly lifelong) vacation. The only problem was that our foodstuffs, which never spoil or rot, are beginning to run out. And we agreed if Sora saw us, he would probably end up sending us into oblivion, just like Xemnas, but soon we'd have no choice.

Ever since, I've been at peace, except for when Demyx decides to play his Sitar, though his soft songs are actually very good. Otherwise, I've been reading till now. I've read my entire collection of books…

All of them… except for Winnie the Pooh.

I opened the book to read, my coffee on the table nearby, and said, "Here goes no-"

"BAM!Get away from me, you witchy bitch!**" **wailed Demyx as he sprinted into my room.

"NEVAH! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!" and that was Larxene, whose heart made her more savage, if anything else.

Larxene was holding some form of torture device, which was apparently electrical due to the smell of ozone in the air… And they were heading directly at me.

"ZEXY, LOOK OUT!" yelled Demyx when he noticed me. Though it was useless because I had already jumped out of the way. And left the book right in their path, then…

"Oh SHI- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

Demyx disappeared into the book with a green flash, then…

"WTF?!" …and Larxene followed suit soon after.

"This shouldn't be happening…" I said, utterly bemused as to how they had entered the book, as I walked back up to it. "The only magic version of this book is in Radiant Gardens, unless… But how, WHY would Merlin send it here? Does he know about what happened to us? Does he know that we are just normal humans with dark powers? Oh well, I guess I might as well check…"

I touched the book with a finger, and was instantly warped in front of Pooh's house. Demyx and Larxene were nowhere in sight.

"Wha…?" I looked down, and saw nothing below my feet except a creaking structure of twigs and sticks. They promptly broke, and some sap seeped out with a sweet smell. I began to move and then I bumped into some long faced creature, and by his depressed expression, I realized that it was Eeyor!

"Oh well…" he said wistfully as always, "Even though I just made it… but it's okay… I'll just make a new one… like every other time…"

"Um… sorry Eeyor… Let me help you with that," I said, leaning down to help him. Thankfully, I had read many books on structure and architecture, and in no time, Eeyor had his new house. "Done." I said with one of my rare smirks. I had checked all the physics in my head. "This one won't break, either."

"You sure…?" he replied, unconvinced.

As if to prove the point, the prince (Axel's the king) and queen of breaking things came around the corner. Piglet in front, scared beyond anything he'd ever experienced, as he should with Larxene behind him. An angry Rabbit was in fast pursuit. He was holding the remains of a carrot in his hands, and howling something about his destroyed garden.. One by one, they all tripped over Eeyor's new house in turn:

"Oh d-d-d-dear!" came Piglet's common line. Then he tripped and flew head over heels into Pooh's open window, landing on Pooh's stomach with a loud thud, though Pooh didn't even stir from his afternoon nap.

"Get away from me!" Then Demyx tripped because he wasn't looking where he was going. And a wind blew (it was Winds-day after all) him right into me, and sent us tumbling. We landed on a patch of ground with incredibly soft moss cushioning our fall. We were up just in time to see Larxene fly by, barely missing us.

"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA-Huh?" Larxene was blown away by the wind in a different direction entirely. She was heading straight for a window in Tigger's house.

"VANDALS, GET BACK HERE!" said an exasperated Rabbit, who had the sense to stop before he shared their fate.

"What the…?" yelled a surmised and confused Tigger, "Get outta my house, insect lady! *random bouncing noises*"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! My hair! How dare yooooOOOOAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" she screamed as she bounced out the window, and then out of the entire book itself! But not before Demyx pulled out a camera and began taking shots!

Strangely, jut before she left the book, her torture device exploded like a firework! Demyx, of course, caught the explosion, and Larxene's ludicrous expression: confused, angry, disgusted, and insane all at once.

"I hope she doesn't destroy my library for that…" I chuckled and smirked, knowing all to well what would happen.

"She won't. Knowing her, she'll run away, lament her toy for a while, fix it Vexen's lab, and then forget about this whole thing! You know how she is!" he smirked as well, "And with these pictures, she wont touch us for a long time! Ha!"

"Thank you, captain obvious!" I said, feigning annoyance, "Make me copies when the pictures develop, too. I've dealt with her torture before… Not fun."

"Zexy!" He complained after we said our goodbyes to the denizens of the book, "They're my ticket to blackmailing Larxene!"

"I'll admit that, but come on… you now how she gets!"

"But…"

"Last Halloween, do you remember what you did?"

"Oh… Shit…" he whispered as we were leaving the book, his face redder than Axels hair, and acting as if he had a horrible itch. "And then Larxene tried to record it… I'm just glad that Axel melted the camera for me."

"Actually," I said mysteriously, "Axel owed me a favor, so…" I flashed a small flash drive and smirked

"That's… not what I think it is, is it?" his face turning absolutely pale, realizing something horrible.

"Yup, now make me copies… 'Got it memorized'" I laughed at my horrible rendition of Axel's catchphrase. Then my face betrayed what I had realized that morning…

"Hey, Zexy, something wrong?" Demyx said looking at my expression, then realization spread across his face. "This is your last book, isn't it?"

I only nodded; the pain in my recently attained heart was too immense for words. My books had been my only comfort in this castle so far, besides maybe the occasional time that Demyx proved he wasn't too dumb. And everyone else in the organization was crazy except for Lexaus, even though he was out often lately on his so called "Search For Enlightenment," and that other Buddha crap. The only things that were true were the calming and thought-enhancing effects of meditation. It was too bad… Really. Lexaus was fun to be with. The silent conversations broke the monotony, and he was the only one everyone in the castle could trust with a secret.

"Hey, Zexy! Hello?" Demyx broke my train of thought

I only just noticed that I had walked with Demyx to his room. And that he was about to close the door in my face. His room smelled of the sea as always… It was soothing somehow…

"See ya tomorrow, Zexy… Bye." He stated as he shut the door.

I yawned, "Yeah…" then walked back to my library, which also served as my room, though it was worth nothing now that I had read every single book.

"Maybe Demyx will leave the castle with me tomorrow…" I pondered as I went into my room.

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End of part 1

P.S.: CRITICISM IS ACCEPTED. Please tell me what I'm doing right or wrong!


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